[pp.int.general] Minor orthographic improvements to the manifesto (draft B)

[Per von Zweigbergk]

I know this is late in coming, but I believe the changes I'm  
suggesting are small and uncontroversial.

After some consideration I can state for myself (not speaking for my  
party), that I prefer the current Draft B. Not only because of the in  
general better orthography and language in Draft B as compared to  
Drafts A and C, but because of the inclusion of Stallman's Amendment.

However, there are three minor issues that I'd like to propose changed:

1. In all three drafts, under the chapter "About Author's Rights",  
there is the phrase "allowing the extention of authors rights". Here,  
the word extension is misspelled as "extention".

2. In all three drafts, under the chapter "About Information Society",  
there is the phrase "wired and/or wireless Internet". I believe that  
the words "wired and/or wireless" are redundant and can be removed.

3. In draft B, under the chapter "About Government Accountability and  
Transparency", there is the phrase "public scrutiny into the affairs  
of state should be mandatory". While this ranges a bit above an  
orthographic correction, I believe that the spirit of the pirate  
movement is better represented by replacing "public scrutiny into the  
affairs of state should be mandatory" with "affairs of state must  
always be subject to public scrutiny". The reason for this change, is  
that the original formulation makes it sound like it must be mandatory  
for some member of the public to scrutinize. But how would such a  
mandatory scrutinization be enforced? I believe that instead, the  
author meant to say that it should always be *possible* to scrutinize  
affairs of state, and that it is vitally important that someone does  
it. But it cannot be "mandatory" in my opinion.

I'm not sure these changes require the submission of a fourth draft  
variant, but I think that there should not be any problem with  
accepting these modifications as an amendment after it has been agreed  
on whether to accept draft A, B or C, since it does not in my opinion  
indicate any actual change in the meaning of the document.

Again, my apologies on the late comments on the pirate manifesto  
drafts (I have simply not read the document in such detail prior to  
now), and if these changes can be made in an expedient way (especially  
changes 1 and 2), I believe that they should be made. If not, I'd be  
happy with any of the three drafts put forward, although I personally  
prefer Draft B.

I'm going to leave the formal procedure to submit these changes to  
somebody more familiar with the draft system.
-- 
Per von Zweigbergk

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